If I am not the girl saving the world from HELL…
If I’m not the girl saving my family…
WHO the hell am I?
2 years ago I was on food stamps – making $400 a week for over 10 years.
I felt the burden of traditional religious teachings –
Don’t sin… you’ll go to hell
Don’t let them sin… they’ll go to hell and it will be on YOU.
I felt the burden of “saving” my family.
Everyone must be thriving – everyone has to be happy.
If I could just FIGURE IT ALL out I could save them all.
If I could just un-fk myself enough I could work 13 hours straight every single day and save them all.
If I could just stop falling down.
If I could just stop drinking so much
If I could watch less TV
If I could be happier – I could teach them
Even just typing this creates a bit of pressure in my chest – an old familiar squeeze.
This savior complex worked for me for a while. I had to save everyone – what other choice was there but to work myself to the bone and get it done.
And so I did…. Work myself to the bone… and then numb… and then work and numb more.
Here is the one thing that changed all of this for me…
This ONE phrase that I heard all the way deep into my soul:
They already have what they want.
I had made up in my head for SOOOO long that they (anyone around me in my life who was in any way suffering) wanted something more. They wanted something else the way I WANTED SOMETHING MORE.
But that’s BS
We are all getting what we want.
“…nothing is difficult that is WHOLLY desired.”
They are getting what they want, and they’re allowed because there are no DAMN rules!!!
Just because you say it’s SUPPOSED to look like THIS – doesn’t actually mean anything.
Just because someone else told you it’s supposed to look a certain way doesn’t actually mean anything.
We hold others as able.
They are already getting what they want – what they WHOLLY want – AND SO ARE YOU.
This savior complex is great for a second. It can give us a sense of identity, make us feel good, like we are making a difference, like we have PURPOSE.
If saving others had nothing to do with your purpose what would your purpose be?
Someone tried to shame me the other day stating – You charge $8k to help people overcome what you have overcome?
And I got a very clear NON-SAVIOR answer inside of me to this –
“I don’t help people. People don’t need to be helped. They just don’t know that yet. I call people to more and reflect back to them their greatness until they can see it for themselves.” -Mandy Perry Click To Tweet
Who am I if I am not saving people?
I am a woman who does the work – to get the reward.
I always get the job done.
I’m a fast learner.
I will always grow to the container I am in.
I will find the lesson – allow it – and reap the benefit.
I live to my fullest potential and do the work required to go to the next level.
I always do the work.
Being this – doesn’t automatically make m the designated save everyone else leader. Lol
No one needs saving.
What they need is to see someone they love thriving and have permission to do the same.
The greatest legacy you could ever leave is being an example of someone who lived ALL IN and let herself thrive and enjoy every waking second of life.
Someone who went for it and truly saw what she was made of.
Someone who ditched the BS argument to why she can’t have what she wants
Someone who stopped arguing for why she can’t have it and started arguing for why she CAN have it –
Remember, life is rigged for the bold.
It’s yours when you say it’s yours.