Last night a friend of mine – for the last.. 14 years.. reflected back to me the stages he has watched me grow though… and how he watched me never feel bad for myself. Never quit. Never roll over.
He knew the things that had happened to me, he knew how hard it was. He watched me as a single mom, as a married woman, single business owner.
In my whole life no one has ever reflected that back to me.. no one really knows all I’ve gone through.. no one saw me showing up… convincing myself to show up again today.. choosing a story that gave me hope that everything would someday get better… easier AND also.. get’s what it take to create what I have created.
It meant so much to me to be seen to that level… to understand both ends.
SO this morning when I felt heavy and was crying… I let myself feel what was coming up and why I felt emotional.
I miss my family – miss my sister (who is preggers!! yay!!) am flying to see them in a few days….
there was something more..
So I let myself stay with it, because this is how I intentionally design a life I love.
I noticed I feel bad at dating.. lol… but really. Like I analyze everything and say way too much – because that’s what I do every second of my days with kids and clients… that’s my world.
I noticed I didn’t like how it felt though – like saying things in the arena of dating.. and felt a little stupid.
CRIED IT OUT.
Remembered – If I didn’t say all the things truly coming up – I wouldn’t have been able to find the line of what feels good – Shifting myself to CHOOSE who I get to be in dating and reminding myself that I get to have every experience I want in life. PERIOD.
So even if I feel stupid and see that I am bad at it – I have been having the courage to jump in and be bad so I can grow and create what I want.
So I cried out feeling novice and stupid and laughed at how this is what he mean… I never roll over. I never quit. I always find the way to see how it can get better.
I’ve had guys ask me to be FWB – *eye roll* that I even have to know what that means now. Who asks that…
Men asking for committment (don’t you ask that AFTER dating has begun?) confusing..
AND I’ve stumbled through not being a coach in my dating life – this is a real thing lmaoooo) and I’ve said way too much… hahaha
So there’s that lol.
And then I cried at all the times I have let people not be epic and stay in my life.
I cried that I have never really seen how I deserve to be treated.
I’ve never been with a man who took care of me. Who made me feel safe emotionally. Who made me feel seen.
and felt that sadness… let it go… and remembered that … if a woman who went through what I have.. one day decided she was going to burn everything down and recreate a life of 100% JOY & FUN…
would she go through a phase of
? saying too many things
? sadness of how she hadn’t known how to do it better earlier…
? fear that she was being a self-absorbed bitch for going for it…??
? FK YES SHE WOULD.
So what does the girl who never quits, never rolls over & never gets hung up on the woes do??
She writes this blog (lol), wipes her tears, and adjusts.
YET ONE MORE LEVEL. It’s far from all the way there… it’s far from the place where she will magically not say too much, it’s far from the place of feeling complete worth of an epic man who makes her feel seen and safe (and turns her on wildly lol) BUT…
IT IS ONE MORE MOTHER FKG LEVEL ON A LONG LINE OF UPLEVELS.
You hear me sister yes?
You deserve it all – and you get to exhale, cry and release the pain of what has been.. and isn’t yet.. and just take one more step today… AND ENJOY THE SHIT OUT OF NOW.
Get get your ass up AND ROW BICHHH ROWWWWW ????
TRUST ME – it all fkg adds up. MASSIVELY.
It’s only in the UNKNOWN that you’re going to be able to find yourself.
It’s only in the unknown where you will accomplish shit people think is impossible.
You got this…. WE got this ?
PS: What’s your next step?
CLIENT OVERFLOW IS HERE
Ok y’all – I’M BRINGING THE GOLD!!!
It is….. EASY….. to get clients and most of you are complicating the SH** out of it.
SO I am dropping this program to help you not only break though and book your business out – but also to help you OWN YOUR POWER – and launch into the stratosphere!
When you are done with CLIENT OVERFLOW it will seem SILLY that it was ever “hard” to get clients.
When you doubt you, need to prove you, and are worried about protecting you.. people sense this.
It’s time to become unavailable for the struggle!
You do not need to struggle to be a good person. It does NOT need to be complex and HARD for it to be EPIC.
No more hiding. No more pretending you are smaller than you are.
YOU ARE A FKG GIANT.
IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE YOU.
And when you can shift into this place – HOW COULD YOU NOT GET CLIENTS??
When you are done with CLIENT FLOW it will seem SILLY that it was ever “hard” to get clients.