I want to control it all… I want to protect you.
I want to fix it all.
I want to hide you from the realities of the world… because I love you.
I feel an ache inside seeing you go through hard times… seeing you make choices that cause you more trouble and heartache.
It’s hard to watch you. It’s hard to understand you. I feel like since I know better, it’s my job to fix it all for you.
It takes my breath sometimes when I have to step back and let you make your own mistakes. To let you suffer the consequences of your choices.
It takes everything in me not to run to you and hold you.
Tell you how everything is fine, and this is no big deal.
But it is.
and I love you enough to let you learn.
I love you enough to let you fall.
I love you enough to let you grow.
Who am I kidding pretending that showing up for you over and over again is noble…
Who am I to pretend it’s harder to rescue you than it is to let you fall?
It’s the deepest form of LOVE I have ever shown… letting you fall.
Letting you make your mistakes.
Looking you in the eye as you fall.
It is the hardest thing I have ever done…
but.. I love you enough to let you fall.
Let you learn
Let you become
Let you strengthen
Let you grow
Let you see yourself
Let you fight
Let you win
To choose to never show up.
I love you enough to let you make that choice for yourself.
I asked myself what felt like an impossible question..
Will I be ok if you decide to quit… to lay down… to never breakthrough into your potential?
Really there is no answer to this… it’s not the right question.
The real question is… could I ever be ok with myself knowing I never loved you enough to let you go and let you become.
I may have protected you one too many times, but timing is always right.
You know I love you.
You know I ache to see you suffer so.
You know I am rooting for your success with every single fiber of my being.
You know I believe in you.
You know I am sending you all my love.
You know I will always be here to celebrate your victories.
No one will ever be more proud of you.