My daughter ran over a blueberry with her hover board and tracked blueberries all over the floor.. and I asked her why she’s always making messes.
She got a drink of water and left the cup on the counter and the cat knocked it over.. I asked her why she is not more careful, she knows the cat is mischief. I put my hand to my forehead to let her know my disapproval.
She ate lunch and spilled crumbs all over the counter and floor where she was eating. I asked her if she got any in her mouth and let out a huff.
Later that day she came barging into my office where I was writing and started on about some long story about the squirrel outside.. and I snapped at her.. “Bailey! I need to use my own brain sometimes!”
About an hour later she asked me if she could go door to door and collect money for homeless people.. to which I replied without looking up that she can’t go door to door in a deed-restricted neighborhood.. but it was a good idea anyways.
She went outside and proceeded to make a “yard sale” to which I replied… you need to make sure this garage looks exactly like it did before you made this mess B girl. “I will mommy.”
I went in to order dinner and had some music going… I saw Bailey standing in the corner of the room and then heard a pitter-patter of her feet as she ran across the room, face lit up with LOVE & JOY and bear hugged me.
She just hugged me…
She squeezed me so tight and I could feel her little heart racing.. and in that moment I could see clearly all of the moments she had wanted to connect and I had barked and ordered and huffed.
I could see her pure love, her way of connecting and her joy of life. I could see her motivation to BE who she wanted to be.
I could see all the moments she was being 9 and I was expecting her to be 39.
I could feel what it meant to be alive right there through my daughters relentless love… and I thought… THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING IN THIS WORLD I WOULDN’T DO FOR HER. NOTHING.
I thought about all of the things that stop me from showing up BIG for the people I’m here to serve. I thought about how much BS it all is.
.. about when I am 95 looking back on my life and how I want to remember it all. How do I want to remember how I showed up with her when she was 9?
How do I want to have served my family?
Served my community?
Serve my clients?
Served the world?
WHO did I want to BE and WHY did I want to BE her?
Was I going to keep letting fear stop me from being her?
I knew who I was underneath the fear.. the fear that I would let them all down.
– My kids
– My family
– My clients
– My tribe
– My friends
What if I wasn’t enough to BE the woman I envisioned being?
A woman who is present, who remembers your name, remembers your story. Who gave everything I had to give you in the moment to call you into your greatness in any manor available to me.
The woman who gave until it triggered me.
The woman who defied the pressure of time and gave relentless love like my daughter knew how.
What if I became known for simply how BIG I loved people, rather than because of some success I had reached?
Gave my time, listened, remembered..
Gave my wisdom & knowledge..
Shared my experience..
Held space to love them enough to allow them to show up for themselves over and over.
What if I never again allowed the story of not having enough time stop me from being everything I felt called to be?
What if the 40 summers I had left on this planet were measurements of how much I had learned to BECOME the woman who selflessly, relentlessly and fiercely showed up for the people I was meant to serve?
What would this month look like if I truly gave EVERYTHING I had to give? Actually truly just gave my best. What would this YEAR look like?
MY VERY BEST.
MY. VERY. BEST.
What if all I had to do was wake up each day and commit to JUST DO MY BEST TODAY. Tomorrow I can slack.. just not today.
You will not quit so long as you do not quit today. ❤
I love you