Both in acceptance of where I am, what I am capable of or how I show up… and in who others are, what they believe and how they show up.
This has required me to really grow up.
Who do we think we are to have rules for how someone else should be?
Where does this level of arrogance and control come from?
Why aren’t we taught how to manage the emotions that come up when someone else does something that triggers or upsets us?
How to manage the emotions of our reaction to someone else being upset with us…
Or when we feel guilt or shame for how we showed up, how we tried to control or got upset..
I was just pondering what is underneath this this morning.
Why is it so scary when someone else does something we think they shouldn’t do?
Why do we allow guilt and shame any place into our lives?
Why do we hold onto things?
Why do we feel the RIGHT to be upset about things?
Don’t we want the RIGHT to be HAPPY? Excited? Lit up? FREE? Connected?
Why do we find it so hard to love others for who they are?
Why do we NEED them to be a certain way on order for us to feel safe or loved?
I think we are stronger than that.
I think we can do better than that.
I think we are being called to LOVE bigger than this.
I think it’s time to grow the fk up.
For the moments we want to judge someone else for how they show up in life as if we know the RIGHT way to be.
For the moments we are horrified with someone else for what they do or say as though WE are the standard to be measured to. (gah… for a moment I am tempted to feel shame… but this would be engaging in the same BS)
For the moments the 6 year old us has taken over and we are demanding our blankie in the form of needing someone else to show up differently in order to pacify our feelings.
For the moments we feel guilt and shame for not living up to someone else’s expectation of us.
For the moments we fail to LOVE someone else big enough to love them when they are demanding we show up differently and we act offended rather than noticing a human who is struggling to feel safe or significant.
For all the moments we accidentally act so frail in our humanness. We freak out, we control, we defend, we compare, we judge, we fall apart.
We are #human
And today we remember.. our hearts are muscles meant to strengthen. And as any muscle in the human body.. when it tears it heals stronger.
We do not have to be afraid to be around NEW people who think, act and believe differently. It is safe to feel triggered and to be called to learn to show up better.
HOW THEY ACT is no reflection of your worth or significance.
How you FEEL is no reflection of their right or wrongness. (THAT)
What if we began to look at
– tough relationship moments
– scary $ moments
– scary investment moments
– public failure moments
– being judged moments
– being hurt moments
as nothing more than moments where we are being called to strengthen and grow?
What if it was NEVER about the other person, it was always about YOU learning to love unconditionally…
What if they are all HUGE blessings that call your ass to more so that you can lead those you love with strength and love.