When I “need” $ the most, is always when I tell the “story” that I don’t care about $.
When I have put on 10 lbs, that’s when I judge women dressing skimpy.
When I feel lonely, that is when I identify with being an “introvert” and judge people who “don’t get it” and don’t think like me.
When I feel like life is really hard, this is when I tell a story to myself that people are so superficial.
When I feel confused, that is when I tell a story that life is hard. This is hard. This is such a hard situation or thing.. lol
When I feel angry, this is when I label things right and wrong. People are right and wrong, ergo making me .. right.. clearly.
I am just so smart.. so all-knowing.
I am so evolved… so evolved I cannot even connect with all the normal humans.
I am deep and profound, I can’t be bothered with these superficial things.
Look at me not caring about the things that don’t truly matter.
Ego is alive and well in my finest moments.
I honestly am mortified that I can identify with any of this BS.
But. I. Can.
And I will not judge myself… because it is the little girl in me trying to make sense of a wild crazy unpredictable journey with some habits that cause pain.
Like believing there is some kind of ranking order and I for sure need to be at the top of it.. and I will make you right if you see me as at the top and make you wrong if you don’t!?
If we REALLY saw this sh*t for what it is, we would literally heave from our own ridiculousness.
Like believing that having things that feel beautiful or being beautiful and adorned could ever be superficial.
This is the SAME thing as saying I am superficial because I appreciate this incredible mountain and sunset view. Oh, the sh*t we come up with to try to justify our feelings. Have we ever felt guilty for appreciating all of the adornment in nature? NO.. we get that its HEALTHY. But yet, YOU be adorned? scofffffffff
I think we get the idea here.
Choking on my own ego this am… this is the first version of bulimia I am OK WITH. LMAOOOO (I have a wave of dark humor coming through me this week… I’m absolutely blaming the full moon. Oh, It’s passed you say? Have you not listened to anything? We are in full-on denial here. hahahahahaah )
smh… exhale… surrender… grin.. inhale.. feel the wiser me… turn up the volume on her feelings.. take aligned action as her.
I LOVE you