This morning I had my green juice from CROP Juice and Michael Franti jamming on the radio and I just started crying and hollering “This is it!! This is the vibe of life for me.”
So small and silly, and yet, so very epic.
This weekend’s plans changed for me as an old demon slipped back in.
I was bulimic for 21 years and these past couple months it has been rearing its ugly head.
Maybe C 19.
Maybe divorce and dating.
Maybe Calvin moving out
Maybe turning 40
Maybe who the fk knows…
It doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that I do not go into a shame spiral.
I do not all of a sudden tell myself a story that I cannot lead.
I do not hide.
I do not pretend.
I do not choose the story that I am unworthy because I am ohsohuman
It is what it is, and that’s all it is.
I love and accept myself as is.
So last night I got this crazy hippie soul waking me up giving me a spanking.
“You will be present with this this weekend. No exceptions.”
I was guided to do a juice cleanse, which most people would say is not the right way to handle this.
I was guided to cancel my weekend trip and get still. Stiller than I’ve ever been.
And I threw a fit becuse this was my first trip w friend since COVID started here in FL!!!!
And … I took my soul spanking and chose to be obedient. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t feel CERTAIN… I’m full-on trusting.
And that’s how it has always felt.
It’s how I got off of welfare.
It’s how my company went global organically working 4 months.
It’s how I have created this magical life that never ceases to amaze me
And it’s how I will get through this.
Take care of my body.
Focus on how grateful I am that I have an opportunity to shift in this moment. This behavior is a huge gift showing me when my boundaries are weak or I’ve gotten off course.
And know and believe that I am worthy AS IS.
My demons included.
My mistakes included.
My flaws and crap allllll included.
Speak my truth.
Take yet another step in faith.
Enjoy the MF process 😆❤️🙏🏼
Idk who this is for but I felt strongly to share.
We’re enough. Already. As is.
Ps: It takes courage to live out loud.
The good thing is…. you have that in DROVES 😉