I feel heartache today.
I cried on the way home from bringing my daughter to school.
I’m crying right now.
I’m sad. A little confused. A little frustrated. A little scared.
But I had my 9am Elite zoom training that I do M-F.
I have a raise your vibe training to run at 11 with Alison.
I have 1:1 clients and group trainings to run.
And for a moment the old thought of: I’m just going to cancel it all and sleep all day.
I’d sleep like a baby… I can feel it.
I also thought… I’ll end up watching Netflix and eating Tostitos all day… because that’s how that goes.
After 4 years of doing this, I’ve come to know and truly understand one thing.
Showing up for YOU is what heals ME.
The second I got on my training and saw their faces I felt the sunshine inside of me break through the storm clouds.
I didn’t pretend I was ok.
I didn’t pretend I wasn’t feeling heartbreak.
I didn’t pretend I wasn’t feeling major cognitive dissonance.
I was just being Mandy. The Mandy today. Who feels all these things and also, who believes that showing the f! up anyways is what FEELS GOOD, and today, even more than most days, I want to feel good.
SO I GET TO HAVE THAT.
I get to choose that.
I get to allow that experience into my life while I’m sad.
So I showed up and talked about that very thing.
I saw the resonance on all faces.
I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t sad.
I didn’t have to give of myself, I received that resonance and let it fuel me. As our purpose work ALWAYS DOES.
The energy from running that training fueled me to write this blog.
When my friends and humans comment below and tell me how it resonates with them that fuels me to do the next and so on.
BEING the woman who served when I was heartbroken FUELS me.
Confidence is born in what e do when no one is watching.
Who we are when there are no accolades.
Who we choose to be when it’s storming, and when everything we touch turns to gold.
Doing this work will fuel you and feed you in ways you cannot yet comprehend.
What we have experienced is a mere taste of what is possible, but you already knew that.
Remember, the dreams come true when we choose to do the thing NOW, because now is all that there ever is.
I love you, as is.
DOORS CLOSE SUNDAY
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